I want to call my ex so bad it feels like im gonna have a nervous breakdown please help!?

IBare with me I'm typing from a pda phone sitting in a restaurant..In a nutshell we were together almost 3yrs before we broke up...we broke up cause I questioned the hold up with the divorce being finalized..see the mother. Of his kids he mainly married for his immigration situation but he let a lot of time ped 2 make everything look legit...but in the past he told a few lies so its hard 2 tell when he is truthful final ysis he cancelled the divorce to obtain his citzenship quicker and showed me proof..we broke up july in the mix only 3 weeks later he met this chick he claims they had no chemistry and how she babysits his kids ..I believe they slept 2gether..and he moved on supa fast 2 so call love me...fast forward 2 sept he showed me proof..we remained friends but never hung out..I still loved him though we spoke a day b4 thanksgiving and asked if he still love me the same he said no so I stop talking 2 him when he called tanksgiving I didn't answer..I communicated with the woman he met its a long story but it startrd 2 get ugly instead of him being a man he made her ask me for his total gym back twice I said no..then she lied and told him she was going on a double date with me..she had nerve 2 tell me of this lie and said how mad he got...we didn't speak xmas...over a mth..despite all this even a few physical encounters we had..even his babymama drama I still want him..I cry everyday..I have dated since him but its him I want..I want 2 call him so bad..any advice?.SORRY 4 THE LONG NOVEL lol